Category Archives: Marriage Therapy

Premarital Counseling Benefits

Premarital counseling can be a benefit for couples who choose to make this investment before marriage. It can help couples build a foundation for their relationship, improve communication skills, and reduce the risk of future conflicts. Working with a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their expectations, values, and goals for their future together.

One of the primary benefits of premarital counseling with an MFT is improved communication skills. Couples learn how to effectively communicate their needs, feelings, and concerns, which can reduce misunderstandings and promote deeper intimacy. Couples also learn how to listen actively, empathize with each other’s perspectives, and express themselves in a non-judgmental way.

In addition to communication skills, premarital counseling can also help couples explore important issues that they might not want to talk about otherwise in a safe space. This exploration can help couples identify potential areas of conflict or unforeseen circumstances and develop strategies to manage those conflicts in a constructive way.

Premarital counseling with an MFT can also help couples develop a stronger sense of commitment for a long-lasting relationship. By working together to identify shared goals and values, couples can create a vision for their future.

Ultimately, premarital counseling with an MFT can help couples build a strong, relationship. By investing in their relationship before marriage couples can set themselves up for a better chance for success for a fulfilling future together.

Call today to schedule an appointment with a licensed MFT, please leave a voice mail at 479-225-0055. Offering 60 min. sessions on a sliding scale fee to fit most schedules and budgets in the NWA area or anywhere in Arkansas.

Thank you.

Rebuilding Relationship Trust After Addiction Issues

Rebuilding relationship trust after addiction issues is possible. This can be a long and challenging process, and here are some tips:

  1. Honesty is best policy: Honesty is crucial in rebuilding trust. It is essential to be open and honest about your addiction, struggles, and your recovery journey. It may be uncomfortable, but it’s important to share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other.
  2. Stay Consistent: Consistency is important to building trust. Show your partner that you are committed to your recovery and that you are maintaining your sobriety. Follow through with your promises and commitments.
  3. Communication : It is vital in any relationship, but it’s especially important when rebuilding trust. Talk to your partner regularly and openly about your progress, challenges, and on going goals.
  4. Take your time: Rebuilding trust takes time, and it won’t happen overnight. Be patient and understand that it may take some time for your partner to trust you again.
  5. Find a supportive community. Find support groups, therapy, trusted friends and safe family members. Having a support system will help you stay accountable, motivated and committed to your recovery goals.
  6. Actions speak louder than words. Show your partner that you are committed to making positive changes in your life by staying sober, making healthier choices and treating them with respect and kindness.

Remember, trust is easily lost and not easily earned. Trust can be rebuilt with time, willingness and consistency. If you would like to talk about your own situation, I am offering a sliding scale fee for 60-minute sessions. Please call NWA Marriage & Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice mail.

Thank you.

Healthy Relationships

Building and maintaining healthy relationships is a journey that requires effort, patience, and commitment, to a likeminded individual. Whether you’re in a romantic partnership, a friendship, or a family relationship, the following tips can help you establish and nurture healthy connections.

Effective communication is key to any healthy relationship. This means being open and honest with your partner or friend, expressing your needs and concerns in a respectful manner, and actively listening to their perspective. Communication also involves being mindful of your tone and body language and avoiding behaviors that might be considered negative.

Trust is another essential element of healthy relationships. This involves being reliable, consistent, and transparent in your actions, and respecting your partner’s boundaries and privacy. Trust also means being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner and being supportive of them in kind.

Healthy relationships also require a willingness to compromise and work through conflicts. This means acknowledging and addressing issues when they arise, and seeking out solutions that work for both parties. It also involves being patient and empathetic and understanding that relationships are not always perfect or easy.

Finally, self-care is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. This means taking care of your own physical and emotional needs, setting boundaries to protect your time and energy, and prioritizing activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to show up as your “best self” in your relationships.

Please call NWA Marriage Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 Office V. M. to make a 60 min. appointment. Offering an affordable sliding scale fee for clients who live in the NWA area or anywhere in Arkansas. Weekends are available..

Thank You.

Valentine’s Day Intimacy Fears?

Valentine’s Day is almost here. For some people this day brings about fears around intimacy. How soon is too soon to celebrate Valentines Day as a “couple”? Maybe just celebrate as friends? lovers? or celebrate love in general?

Do you ever think, “I want to be close, but just how close is it comfortable for me? ”

Are you comfortable with the idea of being close and staying close? Are you comfortable with the idea with giving as well as receiving over a Longterm relationship? Will you be testing your love often? How comfortable are you with commitment? If you move forward into a relationship, will you feel obligated, trapped or controlled? Will you feel like you will be losing your freedom or a part of you?

Exploring these questions is important for you to know where you are as far as desiring and maintaining long term intimacy.

Finally, knowing where your lover is as far as their intimacy abilities? Are they open and available to being intimate? Are they willing, capable and as vested as you? Are you well matched as far as your expectations and abilities? It’s good to think about these things on your own, as well as talking together.

There can be so many ways to celebrate and to create a meaningful intimate relationship on Valentine’s Day, as well as other types of friendships. Taking the opportunity and time to celebrate love in its many forms, is a day well spent.

So…..Happy Valentines Day!

Please call NWA Marriage & Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 to schedule an online appointment, if you would like to talk further.

Thank you.

Gaslighting the 2022 Word of the Year: Exploring Relationship Gaslighting

What is Relationship Gaslighting?

“Relationship Gaslighting” refers to when one person in a relationship intentionally distorts their partner’s perception of reality for their own manipulative advantage. This can manifest in many ways and can cause the partner to question their own judgement, values, or perceptions.

Signs of Relationship Gaslighting

There are signs to notice when you are being gaslighted. Fault will be assigned to you when you attempt to question explanations or when you feel most vulnerable or powerless from the confusion fallout and insecurity that gaslighting eventually causes.

Questioning to attempt to clarify may bring on statements that you are too sensitive, jealous, or overall unworthy in various ways. This can cause you to feel isolated and confused, and begin doubting yourself.

The Impact of Relationship Gaslighting

Gaslighting can have a significant impact on one’s emotional and mental health. Enduring continued gaslighting is unhealthy and will emotionally unbalance you. It is important to distinguish between real and genuine relationship difficulties and manipulative relationship gaslighting.

How to Address Relationship Gaslighting

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I have seen relationship difficulties and manipulative relationship like gaslighting. It is important to explore the different ways the relationship may manifests and the many nuances. To balance the discomfort caused by gaslighting, many people try to talk themselves out of their feelings with positive self-talk. However, usually these actions are not effective, and the gaslighting will continue.

As a Marriage and Family Therapists, I have seen both and have helped individuals and couples explore the different angles and nuances so they can see clearly for themselves.

Call NWA Marriage and Family Therapy to discuss a counseling appointment. Offering sliding scale fee at your convenience. Serving clients virtually anywhere in Arkansas.

Office voice mail 479-225-0055. Thank you.

Possible Signs Your Family of Origin is Impacting Your Life

Are you noticing that you are having trouble with anger, sadness or are afraid? That your relationships seems to repeat unhealthy patterns? That you maybe struggling with addiction issues? Maybe you also have trust issues in relationships? Do you feel an over all sense of unworthiness?

These might be sings that you are struggling with family origin issues, that have been going unresolved and or unnoticed, that are impacting your life and need some work so you can heal and move forward.

Consider my video conference therapy offering a sliding scale fee and convenient times. I have served the NWA area for almost a decade. Now with virtual secure conferencing I can serve any clients in Arkansas, that are compatible to my scope of practice.

I appreciate your consideration and I hope every one stays safe.

Call me at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message to see if I can help you with your needs so we can set up a virtual appointment.

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Counseling, Therapy in the age of AI – Erica

Watching this you tube video of Erica an AI android, was eye opening as far as the speed at which AI is progressing and developing as a technology.  These “machines” at first seemed clumsy and slow.  Now they seem realistic and life like, with a better command of  language and a good sense of humor, complete with facial gestures.  Now Erica has her own face book account, and channel.  Soon,  I think humans will have  the option as far as doing therapy with AI versus a human being. The military is already experimenting with  AI’s for therapy.  It is  an interesting choice.

Counseling Research 

The dilemma is research on counseling for the last forty years shows that its not about techniques or theories used by the therapists that determine outcomes of clients,, but the relationship developed with your clients in session that helps them heal.  Will AI’s be able to mimic this situation? Will the create new ways to do therapy?

Basically,  what makes us fundamentally human is how we connect with each other, and share our experience, with others.  These interactions are all part of that human experience, hat helps us heal., and connects us to each other.

We are watching how  the AI phenomenon is developing at great speed and with surprisingly little social discourse.  You tube clip, stated that one AI received citizenship and that we needed to make space for new entities,, not human, not machine.  The  android needed its own space and place.   Wondering how this will all play out ? Any way thought I would share this clip today about Erica.  Still want to talk with a human being?

NWA Marriage and  Family Therapy

I am a licensed  Counselor and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist  available for individual or relationship therapy.,   Call for an appointment at  479-225-0055 and leave a voice message.  Evening and week end hours are available, serving  the North West Arkansas (NWA )area.

Thank you.

Carmen

“Get your facts first, ….”

“Get your facts first, ….then you can distort them as you please.”- Mark Twain

A great quote from the great social humorist and writer Mark Twain.  Using a little humor and not taking yourself too seriously at times can be a very powerful self preservation strategy for your mental health.

People get stuck in their attempts to prove themselves right and their partner wrong when fighting especially in couples situations. This in the end leads to resentments and feelings of being judged, undervalued, disrespected and over all unloved.

How about hanging up the usual factual argument by refusing to engage in the familiar back and forth dance that is so familiar?  Learn to manage your own frustration with a little calm humor and pick your battles wisely.   Please remember If you are in an emotionally manipulative or abusive relationship most general relationship strategies, may not apply.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Individual counselor, let me know if I can help  you or your couple  change your usual dance.

Call me at your convenience at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message.  Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

Pre Marital Counseling Benefits

Don’t wait till weeks before your marriage to plan your premarital counseling. Knowing your partner well before marriage gives you assurances that the commitment and expectations are right for both of you. Couples spend so much time preparing the ceremony and all that surrounds it, that sometimes this important aspect may be lost.

Pre-Marital Counseling benefits are many:

Learning to talk more effectively to each other, fighting in a  more fair manner, discussing your expectations and wishes, exploring financial issues, and anything that the couple might be avoiding that is a “hot topic” subject.  When one marries another person often times the families have a bigger influence than the couple had previously thought.  Also there can be other issues as well.

I offer premarital session for couples that  are tailor fit with focus on your needs.  I think that it’s good to have a positive experience with a Marriage and Family Therapists, so you
can know that you have the resources to support you in the long run.  I see so many couples use coming to couples therapy as a threat to their partner in the middle of a fight.  Marriage and Family Therapy can be proactive, healthy and an over all smart move for your couple from the start.

I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) offering premarital counseling in the
NWA area as well as in Ft. Smith.  Call me direct at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message if you would like to discuss your own situation.