Divorce is a process that is difficult and very stressful that most couples take as a last resort option when they feel all else has been exhausted. It is best to attempt couples counseling before giving up on something so important as your primary relationship especially if there are children involved. All issues how ever some times are not couples or relational issues that can be improved or solved in couples therapy. If a relationship is or becomes abusive physically or mentally with a person who is unwilling or unable to change you might need to protect your self first .
Many couples are more likely to go visit an attorney in the first two years of marriage than a licensed marriage and family therapist. Often times the divorce is foreseeable and both parties are in agreement as to divorcing and it may even be an amicable process. That is a 50/50 divorce situation and even then, post divorce support might be necessary.
Some times however, divorces can be a 20/60, or in abusive situations even 0/100 divorce and yes, I believe some of those do exists. Those divorces are the exception not the rule. Having to divorce can be a completely unexpected event or a decision that must be taken in order for one person to survive. There can be tremendous shock from a variety of betrayal events. This can be a type of emotional rape where the entire reality of the relationship and your partners identity comes into question , this unexpected and unplanned divorce may take a long time to recover and leave residual trauma for the unsuspecting person.
Many therapist or therapy models are not equipped to understand or include these brutal exceptions and want to force your divorce recovery situation into a 50/50 model type of divorce situation. This only adds to the confusion, shock and shame that clients who are often times already in trauma, shock and without any bearings feel at this point.
I believe not all divorces are similar, or for similar reasons. This may be the reason some people do better or worse recovering from a divorce. Post divorce recovery needs to be different depending on what you have gone through and where you are in your healing today. I do not use one size fits all method approaches. My therapy is tailor made for you and your specific divorce situation.
If you need pre or post divorce help and support please call. Divorce is a life stressor that has equal or worse impact than experiencing a death. The impact of Divorce is not to be underestimated and post divorce healing sometimes takes longer than we expected for many reasons. Therapy can help speed your recovery and help you recognize blind spots earlier, in the future.