Tag Archives: nwacounseling

“Get your facts first, ….”

“Get your facts first, ….then you can distort them as you please.”- Mark Twain

A great quote from the great social humorist and writer Mark Twain.  Using a little humor and not taking yourself too seriously at times can be a very powerful self preservation strategy for your mental health.

People get stuck in their attempts to prove themselves right and their partner wrong when fighting especially in couples situations. This in the end leads to resentments and feelings of being judged, undervalued, disrespected and over all unloved.

How about hanging up the usual factual argument by refusing to engage in the familiar back and forth dance that is so familiar?  Learn to manage your own frustration with a little calm humor and pick your battles wisely.   Please remember If you are in an emotionally manipulative or abusive relationship most general relationship strategies, may not apply.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Individual counselor, let me know if I can help  you or your couple  change your usual dance.

Call me at your convenience at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message.  Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

Infidelity, Stay or go? How to Know?

Infidelity, Stay Go How to Know?

Infidelity can come in many forms and happens more often than couples are willing to admit.  Studies on infidelity are therefore hard to conduct due to lack of honest data.  Any one who has ever experienced infidelity can  share how difficult it was  go through the experience.

Stay, Go?

The question immediately asked that ruminates painfully in one’s head after an infidelity is, should I stay or go after the infidelity is discovered?  The answer often is, it depends on many factors.

The question on staying or going can be more complicated than a one size fits all answer. Your friends & family might tell you to leave  as soon as possible, when you would do better to stay.  Others may tell you to stay at any and all costs, when it might be safer and better for you to leave.  How to know?  My goal is to  educate people to make long term educated healing choices.

No matter what any book with sure fire “marriage savior” promises you, not all relationships after infidelity can be saved, nor should they be.

Not all relationships after an infidelity however should be terminated or abandoned. Instead, some are very worth fighting for and will grow into a better more mature relationship that is still to come..

The critical question is therefore: How do you know when to stay and when to go after infidelity? What do you need to know to make the best informed choice as to your particular infidelity situation?

Your Informed Choice.

The choice to stay or go is always yours to make. Having an experienced therapists, who is not scared do explore and educate you about your own particular infidelity situation and all the emotions, may help you make a better informed choice.

Call 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for therapy in NWA.

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy to explore and understand your unique infidelity situation.

Thanks Carmen

A Great Holiday Gift Idea

A Great Holiday Gift IdeaA great Holiday gift idea.   So many times around the Holidays I hear clients say their work on their relationship or themselves needs to wait,  till after they pay off  their holiday bills.  That is understandable, I say.

However, I began to think of what material possession might be more important than your relationship with your loved one?  Clothes? Jewelry?  Cell phone? Well maybe a cell phone.  All joking aside, really what material thing can you buy that can supersede having an authentic relationship. A relationship that you can feel really good about?  I was hard pressed to come up with any answer, and you?

Unique Holiday Gift Idea

What about this year giving a few sessions of couples therapy as a unique or unusual gift?  Couples therapy as a holiday gift for both of you, is a novel, unique and  probably a truly unexpected holiday gift.

It might be a great way to initiate that first visit, that for some couples may be difficult.  Do not wait for a catastrophe to get you through the door.

Your partner might be more likely to want to go for a session or two when it was given as a gift.  It might just be an interesting experience for both of you that breaks the ice of any stigma or preconceived ideas about what couples therapy is, in fun way.

A couples session  a great Holiday gift idea. Happy Holidays to all my past, present and future clients.

For more information see Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)