Valentine’s Day is almost here. For some people this day brings about fears around intimacy. How soon is too soon to celebrate Valentines Day as a “couple”? Maybe just celebrate as friends? lovers? or celebrate love in general?
Do you ever think, “I want to be close, but just how close is it comfortable for me? ”
Are you comfortable with the idea of being close and staying close? Are you comfortable with the idea with giving as well as receiving over a Longterm relationship? Will you be testing your love often? How comfortable are you with commitment? If you move forward into a relationship, will you feel obligated, trapped or controlled? Will you feel like you will be losing your freedom or a part of you?
Exploring these questions is important for you to know where you are as far as desiring and maintaining long term intimacy.
Finally, knowing where your lover is as far as their intimacy abilities? Are they open and available to being intimate? Are they willing, capable and as vested as you? Are you well matched as far as your expectations and abilities? It’s good to think about these things on your own, as well as talking together.
There can be so many ways to celebrate and to create a meaningful intimate relationship on Valentine’s Day, as well as other types of friendships. Taking the opportunity and time to celebrate love in its many forms, is a day well spent.
So…..Happy Valentines Day!
Please call NWA Marriage & Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 to schedule an online appointment, if you would like to talk further.
Happy New Year’s 2019. Reflecting on 2018 I was thinking some times it is good to take a look back to remember those folks who lived and came before us. Way before us. We are here because they survived and had the strength to carry on even in very difficult circumstances, often facing situations that in their time seemed impossible to overcome or endure. We as people, are stronger and more resilient than we believe to face our situations.
Please call NWA Marriage & Family Therapy @ 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for couples or individual counseling, at your convenience. If you need my services, in Fayetteville, Bella Vista, or Ft. Smith.please leave a voice message and I will call back.
Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Happy 2019 New Year’s to all as we head forward.
Counseling, Therapy in the age of AI– Erica
Watching this you tube video of Erica an AI android, was eye opening as far as the speed at which AI is progressing and developing as a technology. These “machines” at first seemed clumsy and slow. Now they seem realistic and life like, with a better command of language and a good sense of humor, complete with facial gestures. Now Erica has her own face book account, and channel. Soon, I think humans will have the option as far as doing therapy with AI versus a human being. The military is already experimenting with AI’s for therapy. It is an interesting choice.
The dilemma is research on counseling for the last forty years shows that its not about techniques or theories used by the therapists that determine outcomes of clients,, but the relationship developed with your clients in session that helps them heal. Will AI’s be able to mimic this situation? Will the create new ways to do therapy?
Basically, what makes us fundamentally human is how we connect with each other, and share our experience, with others. These interactions are all part of that human experience, hat helps us heal., and connects us to each other.
We are watching how the AI phenomenon is developing at great speed and with surprisingly little social discourse. You tube clip, stated that one AI received citizenship and that we needed to make space for new entities,, not human, not machine. The android needed its own space and place. Wondering how this will all play out ? Any way thought I would share this clip today about Erica. Still want to talk with a human being?
NWA Marriage and Family Therapy
I am a licensed Counselor and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist available for individual or relationship therapy., Call for an appointment at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message. Evening and week end hours are available, serving the North West Arkansas (NWA )area.
“Get your facts first, ….then you can distort them as you please.”- Mark Twain
A great quote from the great social humorist and writer Mark Twain. Using a little humor and not taking yourself too seriously at times can be a very powerful self preservation strategy for your mental health.
People get stuck in their attempts to prove themselves right and their partner wrong when fighting especially in couples situations. This in the end leads to resentments and feelings of being judged, undervalued, disrespected and over all unloved.
How about hanging up the usual factual argument by refusing to engage in the familiar back and forth dance that is so familiar? Learn to manage your own frustration with a little calm humor and pick your battles wisely. Please remember If you are in an emotionally manipulative or abusive relationship most general relationship strategies, may not apply.
I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Individual counselor, let me know if I can help you or your couple change your usual dance.
Call me at your convenience at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.
Finding Support for Self Improvement in a therapeutic environment is important.
How is support created in therapy? Many times clients want to come in for one visit to make a variety of changes, often all at one time. Self improvement happens at your own pace. It’s usually best in small steps over the course of your life time.
A variety of self empowering skill sets can be developed over s few sessions. These skills will later be practiced one your own with a continued focus on self improvement. Having a good ongoing relationship with a therapist can pave the way to self sufficiency. An occasional visit with some one who can support you can make your journey easier.
Support can come from many places, people, or even ideas and values. Uncover who or what supports your integrity and authenticity, One of my basic therapeutic goals is to self empower you. Helping you to find a better way to support yourself emotionally as well as to enhance yourself to be your very best at this moment.
Call 479-225-0055 for a counseling appointment if you want help to self empower. NWA Marriage & Family Therapy is serving the Northwest Arkansas area and Ft. Smith. Start transforming and self empowering your life.
“The Four Way Test” used by the Rotarian Club that I share below as a reprint of a simple four-part ethical guideline to use when exploring and making decisions in an ethical manner. Credit to Web link below.
The mind is an interesting place to be when one becomes observant, some people call this practice being mindful or paying attention to your own thoughts and sensations or simply existing in a state of awakening.
What is your intuitive protective voice saying to you at times?
Does that voice serves to protect you in a possibly dangerous situation? Does it serve to protect you or torment you?
Is it giving you comfort or is it making you anxious? Is what you feel true or false?
Is the voice different than your negative thinking? Are they the same?
Is this part of or different than your rational thoughts perhaps are they more a part of your judgmental mind?
Sometimes in relationships we have an internal voice that sees the situation more clearly.
Often times we might over ride this intuitive voice by attempting to be logical or telling ourselves we just want to think positive of a situation or a person and use visualization techniques to create the future we want.
So what is true and what to believe?
Is our ability to feels and experience clearly muddled by past trauma or negative experiences? Is our ability to fell and think clearly overridden by assertions and promise of ones who claim to love us?
How do we know what part of our perceptions to trust?
This is especially important in relationships.
Sometimes situations are more complicated than at first glance. Sometimes our inner voices speak loudly to give us advanced notice of what’s to come? Why is it that some people have the ability to sense this early on even thought they might choose to ignore their intuition?
How do you know if you should follow your inner voice or not? There is so much confusing information on line.