Category Archives: Infidelity

Gaslighting the 2022 word of the year

NWA Marriage and Family Therapy serving all of Arkansas online.

Gaslighting is a term that came from the 1940’s psychological thriller movie titled “Gaslight”. View for free link, You Tube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmtzaHwCKo It is well worth a watch, and hold up many years later.

Today “To gaslight” is an active verb that has come into our modern speech. Used in terms of relationships one can say “Relationship Gaslighting” to mean when one person in a relationship intentionally distorts their partner’s perception of reality for their own manipulative advantage.

Relationship gaslighting can manifest in many ways. Signs to notice are when you begin to question your own judgement, values or perceptions and your own sense of reality. Oftentimes, fault will be assigned to you at a time when you attempt to question explanations or when you feel most vulnerable or powerless from the confusion fallout and insecurity that gaslighting eventually causes.

Questioning to attempt to clarify may bring on statements that you are too sensitive, jealous or overall unworthy in various ways. You then begin to feel isolated and confused and begin doubting yourself. Developing with time a sinking feeling at the pit of your gut. This feeling is a good red flag to honor.

To balance this discomfort, many people try to talk themselves out of their feelings with positive self-talk. They may change their own behavior to try harder to accommodate for their partner’s gaslighting, in hopes of being a more supportive partner and to improve and regain trust in their relationship. Usually, these actions are not effective and the gaslighting will continue.

People are now using “gaslighting” very often and sometimes inappropriately. Enduring continued gaslighting is unhealthy and will emotionally unbalance you. The question now becomes what are real and genuine relationship difficulties and what is manipulative relationship gaslighting?

As a Marriage and Family Therapists, I have seen both and have helped individuals and couples explore the different angles and nuances so they can see clearly for themselves.

Call NWA Marriage and Family Therapy to discuss a counseling appointment. Offering sliding scale fee at your convenience. Serving clients virtually anywhere in Arkansas.

Office voice mail 479-225-0055. Thank you.

Infidelity, Stay or go? How to Know?

Infidelity, Stay Go How to Know?

Infidelity can come in many forms and happens more often than couples are willing to admit.  Studies on infidelity are therefore hard to conduct due to lack of honest data.  Any one who has ever experienced infidelity can  share how difficult it was  go through the experience.

Stay, Go?

The question immediately asked that ruminates painfully in one’s head after an infidelity is, should I stay or go after the infidelity is discovered?  The answer often is, it depends on many factors.

The question on staying or going can be more complicated than a one size fits all answer. Your friends & family might tell you to leave  as soon as possible, when you would do better to stay.  Others may tell you to stay at any and all costs, when it might be safer and better for you to leave.  How to know?  My goal is to  educate people to make long term educated healing choices.

No matter what any book with sure fire “marriage savior” promises you, not all relationships after infidelity can be saved, nor should they be.

Not all relationships after an infidelity however should be terminated or abandoned. Instead, some are very worth fighting for and will grow into a better more mature relationship that is still to come..

The critical question is therefore: How do you know when to stay and when to go after infidelity? What do you need to know to make the best informed choice as to your particular infidelity situation?

Your Informed Choice.

The choice to stay or go is always yours to make. Having an experienced therapists, who is not scared do explore and educate you about your own particular infidelity situation and all the emotions, may help you make a better informed choice.

Call 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for therapy in NWA.

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy to explore and understand your unique infidelity situation.

Thanks Carmen