Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.
Hand Crafted Web Design
That is an often used phrase. So why is that? How is it that an image can be so powerful? Because we use only about ten percent of our brain power to process data, and to analyze. The subconscious mind and the other parts of our brain operate using emotions, pictures, stories, metaphors and images and connects and processes information at a much faster speed. Some times this manifests as an intuitive sense in our “gut feeling” or a swelling of particular emotions after seeing an image or seeing some one. Often times we are not paying attention to all of the images that we are exposed to on a daily basis that end up in our mind.
This is the reason that they say our first impressions of some one is so strong and lasting, and it is often made quickly with little verbal information mostly through the use of non verbal cues and often stays with us. Start noticing your first impression messages that you hear when you first meet some one.
Thus the importance of images and symbols to represent groups, cultures, religions, etc. The media and advertisers understand the power of the image or logos better than most, when they use images and logos as marketing tools to reach us in ways we often do not even notice. Researchers are using MRI scans to explore which areas of the brain light up when we are shown different images, in hopes of being able to recreating this stimulating effect in certain part of the brain in order to excite and influence our purchase selections. There are many images that have become recognized throught history, like the swastika and the peace sign, some are specific to a generation and or an epoch, some span a longer time period or are even reused or rebranded to have different meanings in later generations
The picture of this woman and her child came to symbolize the great depression and the hopeless poverty and difficult life people were leading, it summed it all up in a moments glance and will for many years.
The image below even though it looks natural, was a staged for the picture, it was meant to emote the joy of post war celebrations of having troops back home after WW ll. A classic picture that has become a symbol for many people of that generation. Looking at this picture instantly brings back a flood of emotions at a specific time and place, without having to think logically or analyze any information for people of that era. Many future generations can understand the message as well. Images and pictures bring back eras, feelings and memories quickly inside us.
What images and pictures are important for you?
Drawing, and creating them even if we do not think we are artistic is nurturing and healing for us. Having important images or pictures around us that can give us inspiration, solace, or strength, and as reminders of staying mindful of our intentions, aspirations, and beliefs while staying in our present moment experience are helpful reminders.
Use the power of images to help you set goals for your self and to know what it is that is important in your life. Maybe use them to say sorry in a different, special and unique way. If you are dating or in a relationship using images can be a fast way to connect and communicate with some one, how you are feeling. Share your feelings with pictures, artwork, symbols to those important ones in your life and connect in a fun way that can be uniquely yours.
Anger seems to be one of our most often used emotions and often our only “go to” emotion. Real anger is rarely a primary emotion. Anger is so often expressed that we have many idiomatic expressions in our language that describe how some people may feel when they become angry.
We say expressions like:
- driving me up the wall
- driving me nuts
- hot under the collar
- blowing off steam
- blowing our top
- hitting the ceiling
- flying off the handle
- blowing our stack
- mad as a wet hen
- rage quit
- hissy fit
Do any of these sound familiar? These are all colorful ways that have been weaved into the fabric of our vocabulary and that we use to communicate our frustration, fear, or thoughts of being overwhelmed. Try for a moment to really notice where anger resides in your body when your feeling over the top angry?
Are you able to visualize any of these expressions? Can you see yourself literally driving up the wall? Seeing that in your minds eye might bring some level of humor to the situation . Ask yourself how important is this really now? And in 25 years? Is it really about this situation now or maybe there are some unresolved feelings from past that you might not have even been aware of?
You might find that “seeing red” does not always have to be the end result of your anger once you are aware of having anger notice where it resides in your body and of your triggers, and how to release it …. noticing this mind body connection might open up the possibilities to seeing aqua blue, emerald green, sunshine yellow and many more. Take a moment to consider all the other different emotions that we choose from, or at least allow.
Surprising article in Scientific American Journal that explores the mind body connection. Scientists are now discovering that people’s “gut instinct” or “butterflies” are connected with mind and emotions through our body. This gut instinct or some call it intuition, can process information much faster than our rational mind and it is usually accurate.
This other gut brain “second brain” is composed of many neurons in your intestinal tract and is connected with the brain in your head. The article points out that it is the seat of your unconscious thought. It can alert you very quickly to danger, suspicion, excitement.
People often say,” I just knew it in my gut” that is because this second brain contains 100 million neurons, give or take a few. That is more than in either the spinal cord or the peripheral nervous system. The second brain can control gut behavior independently of the brain in our head, and it is very connected with our emotions and with our physical illness or health.
More research is needed in the future but preliminary research shows that maintaining a healthy gut contributes to good mental health and vise versa. So notice your hunches and your gut feelings and be open to their influence, they can provide valuable information.
Deciding to participate in counseling is a journey of self discovery and a sign of courage for an individual or a couple. In couple’s therapy it is often getting to know what works for your “WE” in a safe supported environment as well as for both of you.
A feelings of getting stuck sometimes in a marriage, relationship, career, or even in defining who we are as whole person is part of our human experience as people. Emotions are not to be ignored or suppressed; they are your intuitive messengers and should be examined, verified and honored to create a more authentic fulfilling life. One can struggle with feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and fears that all may be legitimate. Emotions are powerful and have energy to creatively transform, expand and encompass new perspectives, new thoughts and behaviors. Do you know how listen to your emotions with more clarity and compassion? Finding your life’s goals and finding your own voice can be important both for you individually, as well as for your couples success.