Tag Archives: bella vista counseling

“Get your facts first, ….”

“Get your facts first, ….then you can distort them as you please.”- Mark Twain

A great quote from the great social humorist and writer Mark Twain.  Using a little humor and not taking yourself too seriously at times can be a very powerful self preservation strategy for your mental health.

People get stuck in their attempts to prove themselves right and their partner wrong when fighting especially in couples situations. This in the end leads to resentments and feelings of being judged, undervalued, disrespected and over all unloved.

How about hanging up the usual factual argument by refusing to engage in the familiar back and forth dance that is so familiar?  Learn to manage your own frustration with a little calm humor and pick your battles wisely.   Please remember If you are in an emotionally manipulative or abusive relationship most general relationship strategies, may not apply.

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Individual counselor, let me know if I can help  you or your couple  change your usual dance.

Call me at your convenience at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message.  Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

Support, Self Improvement in Therapy

Finding Support for Self Improvement in a therapeutic environment is important.

How is support created in therapy?  Many times clients want to come in for one visit to make a variety of changes, often all at one time.  Self improvement happens at your own pace.  It’s usually best in small steps over the course  of your life time.

A variety of self empowering skill sets can be developed over s few sessions.  These skills will later be practiced  one your own with a continued focus on self improvement.   Having  a good  ongoing relationship with a therapist can pave the way to self sufficiency.   An occasional visit with some one who can support you can make your journey easier.

Support can come from many places, people, or even ideas and values.  Uncover who or what supports your integrity and authenticity,   One of my basic therapeutic goals is to self empower you.  Helping you to find a better way to support yourself emotionally as well as to enhance yourself to be your very best at this moment.

Call 479-225-0055 for a counseling appointment if you want help to self empower. NWA Marriage & Family Therapy is serving the Northwest Arkansas area and Ft. Smith.  Start transforming and self empowering your life.

The Four Way Test-Decision Making

 

 

“The Four Way Test” used by the Rotarian Club that I share below as a reprint of a simple four-part ethical guideline to use when exploring and making decisions in an ethical manner.  Credit to Web link below.

 

http://thefourwaytest.com/history-of-the-four-way-test/

The Four Way Test

1. Is it the TRUTH?

2. Is it FAIR to all Concerned?

3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

 

Good therapeutic questions to use and explore through life when communicating with your spouse, couple, friends and or family.

Call NWA Marriage and Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 for an individual marital or couples appointment for affordable licensed therapy. Thanks!

 

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy, Your intuitive voice

The mind is an interesting place to be when one becomes observant, some people call this practice being mindful or paying attention to your own thoughts and sensations or simply existing in a state of awakening.

What is your intuitive protective voice saying to you at times?

Does that voice serves to protect you in a possibly dangerous situation? Does it serve to protect  you or torment you?

Is it  giving you comfort or is it making you anxious?  Is  what you feel true or  false?

Is the voice different than your negative thinking?  Are they the same?

Is this part of or different than your rational thoughts perhaps are they more  a part of your judgmental mind?

Sometimes in relationships we have an internal voice that sees the situation more clearly.

Often times we might over ride this intuitive voice by attempting to be logical or telling ourselves we just want to think positive of a situation or a person and use visualization techniques to create the future we want.

So what is true and what to believe?

Is our ability to feels and experience clearly muddled by past trauma or negative experiences? Is our ability to fell and think clearly overridden by assertions and promise of  ones who claim to love us?

How do we know what part of our perceptions to trust?

This is especially important in relationships.

Sometimes situations are more complicated than at first glance. Sometimes our inner voices speak loudly to give us advanced notice of what’s to come?  Why is it that some people  have the ability to sense this early on even thought they might choose to ignore their intuition?

How do you know if you should follow your inner voice or not? There is so much confusing information on line.