Category Archives: Counseling

Pre Marital Counseling Benefits

Don’t wait till weeks before your marriage to plan your premarital counseling. Knowing your partner well before marriage gives you assurances that the commitment and expectations are right for both of you. Couples spend so much time preparing the ceremony and all that surrounds it, that sometimes this important aspect may be lost.

Pre-Marital Counseling benefits are many:

Learning to talk more effectively to each other, fighting in a  more fair manner, discussing your expectations and wishes, exploring financial issues, and anything that the couple might be avoiding that is a “hot topic” subject.  When one marries another person often times the families have a bigger influence than the couple had previously thought.  Also there can be other issues as well.

I offer premarital session for couples that  are tailor fit with focus on your needs.  I think that it’s good to have a positive experience with a Marriage and Family Therapists, so you
can know that you have the resources to support you in the long run.  I see so many couples use coming to couples therapy as a threat to their partner in the middle of a fight.  Marriage and Family Therapy can be proactive, healthy and an over all smart move for your couple from the start.

I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) offering premarital counseling in the
NWA area as well as in Ft. Smith.  Call me direct at 479-225-0055 and leave a voice message if you would like to discuss your own situation.

Support, Self Improvement in Therapy

Finding Support for Self Improvement in a therapeutic environment is important.

How is support created in therapy?  Many times clients want to come in for one visit to make a variety of changes, often all at one time.  Self improvement happens at your own pace.  It’s usually best in small steps over the course  of your life time.

A variety of self empowering skill sets can be developed over s few sessions.  These skills will later be practiced  one your own with a continued focus on self improvement.   Having  a good  ongoing relationship with a therapist can pave the way to self sufficiency.   An occasional visit with some one who can support you can make your journey easier.

Support can come from many places, people, or even ideas and values.  Uncover who or what supports your integrity and authenticity,   One of my basic therapeutic goals is to self empower you.  Helping you to find a better way to support yourself emotionally as well as to enhance yourself to be your very best at this moment.

Call 479-225-0055 for a counseling appointment if you want help to self empower. NWA Marriage & Family Therapy is serving the Northwest Arkansas area and Ft. Smith.  Start transforming and self empowering your life.

Valentine’s Day

 

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Here is wishing every one a Happy Valentine’s Day.   A wonderful day to remember to celebrate love in all its many forms, be it passionate, romantic, friendship, or all of the above. Sometimes it can be the mix that we create. After all they say, love is blind.

Want to explore your new romance?   Confused as to a dating or an engagement situation?  Maybe a bad past relationship experience is keeping you more closed off than you wish to be, or keeping you from beginning in a new relationship?

Sometimes getting prepared for a new relationship takes some work before it even begins.  A counseling session is a great Valentine’s Day gift for your self or your sweetie.

Give me a call at your convenience 479-225-0055 and please leave a voice message.

 

 

 

 

A Great Holiday Gift Idea

A Great Holiday Gift IdeaA great Holiday gift idea.   So many times around the Holidays I hear clients say their work on their relationship or themselves needs to wait,  till after they pay off  their holiday bills.  That is understandable, I say.

However, I began to think of what material possession might be more important than your relationship with your loved one?  Clothes? Jewelry?  Cell phone? Well maybe a cell phone.  All joking aside, really what material thing can you buy that can supersede having an authentic relationship. A relationship that you can feel really good about?  I was hard pressed to come up with any answer, and you?

Unique Holiday Gift Idea

What about this year giving a few sessions of couples therapy as a unique or unusual gift?  Couples therapy as a holiday gift for both of you, is a novel, unique and  probably a truly unexpected holiday gift.

It might be a great way to initiate that first visit, that for some couples may be difficult.  Do not wait for a catastrophe to get you through the door.

Your partner might be more likely to want to go for a session or two when it was given as a gift.  It might just be an interesting experience for both of you that breaks the ice of any stigma or preconceived ideas about what couples therapy is, in fun way.

A couples session  a great Holiday gift idea. Happy Holidays to all my past, present and future clients.

For more information see Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s) 

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy, Google and the Self Diagnosis

Welcome to the age of Google and information.  I see more clients  more confused now about their situations with all the information they research or read in an  attempt to apply everything to themselves, in hopes of a quick resolve.  Information sometimes applied correctly and successfully and sometimes applied very inaccurately and excessively with unexpected consequences, or not with the desired results

Younger folks are much more willing to rely and use the internet to self diagnose or treat others.   If its accurate and effective, you might save some money but since the biggest predictor of any one getting better is the relationship a client forms with their therapists,  all the information in the world can not substitute face to face  sessions with a professional.   As well as  not all therapists follow the medical model, even thought all insurance companies do, and that is the bulk of what most people find.

Even experts in the mental health field can disagree as to the how’s and why’s of diagnostics and therapy or of the various mental health issues,  which are in a constant state of change and advancement as they are approached from many view points and with new advancements in the filed.

Often times clients self diagnose or diagnose others in their family with various personality disorders without ever having gone to see any one in the mental health field.  Google has made their decision for them.   Everything can sound so similar too, clients tell me.  Sometimes finding issues they did not know were even issuesSo you may consider trusting the face to face process of using a therapists in real time, hanging in there and seeing what happens, rather than amass  information that leads to many clients to feel less than or  more anxious.

Counseling and mental health therapy in one form  or another, through various healers  has been around since ancient times, even before the mental health field developed to what it is today.

Even thought face to face therapy is still considered the gold standard, its good to know that other options now exists.

Call 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for therapy in NWA.
NWA Marriage & Family Therapy to explore and understand your unique infidelity situation.

Thanks Carmen

 

Counseling and Therapy Contact Websites For NWA Marriage & Family Therapy

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy

Below are links to find my services and other free and useful counseling information.  Marriage therapy, couples counseling and individual clinical counseling  provided in the NWA area and Ft. Smith in a private practice setting.  I have an affordable sliding scale fee for a 60 minute session, depending on your income.

I am a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. see    https://aamft.org

I can be found  on their www.therapylocator.com listing.

My private practice is going on its seventh year in business serving a variety of clients from all walks of life.   I  have offices in various locations and it is sometimes hard to get google maps to cooperate with a business that has more than one location.  In addition to Fayetteville Arkansas, I also serve Bella Vista as well as the Ft. Smith area

You can also find my verified services listed as well as other valuable counseling information on Psychology Today.  See…

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=157622&rec_next=61&ref=6&sid=1507733323.2675_7511&city=Fayetteville&county=Washington&state=AR&tr=ResultsProfileBtn

My services are also listed at Goodtherapy.org

https://www.goodtherapy.org/therapists/profile/carmen-cubillo-20131231

Any of the above web site links might help you in finding a face to face therapist and are good sources for free information as to counseling or therapy in general.

Calling the office at 479-225-0055 NWA Marriage & Family Therapy and leaving a voice message is the best way to reach me to make an appointment or simply  answer any questions you may have.

Thank you.

Carmen

Every Day is Valentine’s Day

Isn’t it interesting how so many new relationships are made around Valentines Day?  When  this day of love and romance  comes up, that pending questions will we be celebrating it together with this new person in our life comes up? Does this relationship mean the same to each of us?  That thrill or surprise to know that some one is interested in you and you in them can feel great?  Valentines Day can often be a day of thrill and surprises, and for  other’s it can also be a day of closings and endings.

It is interesting to see how love can be in the air when we as a society and as an individual make  set our focus on paying attention and doting on another person by sharing our feelings of love in so many special ways.   Alternately if you have been in a long term relationship or marriage, could your relationship benefit with a little more intimacy or fun?

This month of Valentine’s  I am offering enrichment sessions for couples that feel they are doing well and are stable who might want to share and explore greater intimacy together as a part of their ongoing commitment.   Give the gift of an enrichment session a great unique Valentine’s  Day Gift. Please call and ask for an appointment at your convenience, Saturdays are available for sessions as well.

Make every day Valentine’s Day by focusing on the love that you have in your life, that many come in many forms and that we so often take for granted. Remind yourself every day to be thankful.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

If you wish to contact me, please call my office telephone 479-225-0055, & leave a message. Thanks

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How to tell your kids your marriage is over?

How do you tell your children your marriage is over?  Is  there a best way or worse way?  First of all make sure that both of you are certain that divorce is going to really happen and it is your final decision after exploring all other options.

Less than ideal ways are each for each  parent to  tell  the children at a different times and blaming the other parent, or doing some drastic changes in living situations without telling the children or their spouse. Also harmful is  passing messages through the children,, dating too early and not giving children time to grieve.   As a parent crying to or leaning on your children for emotional support for your separation or divorce because they are so “mature” and you feel they understand is not advised.  Showing your children your anger towards your ex is also not advised even if you feel you are in the right.  All these  are usually less than ideal and will put more stress on your children through the divorce and through the co-parenting  years that come after.

What might be better guide rules?  Having a joint  story that you both share together when you are both sure that divorce is inevitable is important.  Get  the story straight and stick to it,, and that should only be told  one time,  clearly and calmly, not every few months, or years.

Decide how to best tell children, when and where. Neither parent needs to be thrown under the bus in front of your kids.  Often times kids feel they are half of each parent  and the child begins to internalize that half of them is bad or if both parents insult each other they might feel that all of them is bad, so nothing they do is ok or matters.  Saying thing like you look or act just like your ex spouse is not helpful.  A child’s may worry that  they have some how have, or will in the future contribute to parental issue,  separation, or divorce  and feel guilty or sad. They are left in a loosing situation, that they feel can’t be resolved.

The divorce story should not include any thing bad about either parent, Try not to personalize and react to comments from your ex when negotiating or when setting up scheduling for your children. Let things fall without reaction. That is  easier said than done, and that is where a therapists might be able to help.  Anything you can do to reduce parental conflict is going to serve your children’s best interest and allow them to be happier and better adjusted after the transition.

A neutral  story,  may sound like …….”we do not love each other in ways parents  should or we do not get along any more and sometimes in adult love and in couples love thing can change..” Then emphasize that love for kids from a parent does not change, remind your children that  you both still love them now and will continue to love them always, followed by hugs or time to ask questions.  The children need to feel no sense of responsibility for the loss of your marriage. They also should not be made to feel  any responsibility to manage the relationship of their parents, keep you happy, be your confidant, keep your secrets or be your best friend.

That is why its so important to talk with a therapists who understands pre and post divorce issues.  The pain you might be  feeling , anger, animosity or maybe just a strong desire to move forward. Often times couples are not on the same page as far as wanting to divorce and this creates animosity, resentment and anger in the process of  the separation.  Children at different ages also may react differently.

So consider taking responsibility for your own actions  and for your language and reactions even in very difficult situations, in front of your children.   Love your children more than you hate your spouse , advance the needs of your children over your animosity , take a loving kindness approach.  Do it for your kids.

 

Valentine’s Day is Every Day

Not all counseling visits are to work on problems, sometimes they are just to make a good relationship better?  What a great way to celebrate Valentines Day than with a counseling for your couple to celebrate  and  reconnect in your commitment.  Why is it that we shower our loved one with unconditional love, sweet words, acts of affection and gifts only once a year?   Make every day Valentines Day!!

 

 

Marriage Therapy in Fayetteville, Bella Vista & Ft.Smith

As we start the new years many people have resolutions made to start the year new and they want to improve or change their relationships and marriage.  You don’t have to struggle with the same old marriage or partnership you can create something new with the important person in your life.  Going to  licensed Marriage and Family Therapists can be a good start to the new year or to a new marriage.

I have flexible hours including marital therapy on week ends in offices  in Fayetteville,  Bella Vista, and Ft, Smith.  Don’t give up those new years resolutions just yet.  My  sliding scale fee makes it more affordable. Look forward to serving your unique needs