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Carmen’s Blog

CarmenThank you for stopping by and welcome to my blog. I hope to share useful information and experiences with you here.

Support, Self Improvement in Therapy

Finding Support for Self Improvement in a therapeutic environment is important.

How is support created in therapy?  Many times clients want to come in for one visit to make a variety of changes, often all at one time.  Self improvement happens at your own pace.  It’s usually best in small steps over the course  of your life time.

A variety of self empowering skill sets can be developed over s few sessions.  These skills will later be practiced  one your own with a continued focus on self improvement.   Having  a good  ongoing relationship with a therapist can pave the way to self sufficiency.   An occasional visit with some one who can support you can make your journey easier.

Support can come from many places, people, or even ideas and values.  Uncover who or what supports your integrity and authenticity,   One of my basic therapeutic goals is to self empower you.  Helping you to find a better way to support yourself emotionally as well as to enhance yourself to be your very best at this moment.

Call 479-225-0055 for a counseling appointment if you want help to self empower. NWA Marriage & Family Therapy is serving the Northwest Arkansas area and Ft. Smith.  Start transforming and self empowering your life.

The Four Way Test-Decision Making

 

 

“The Four Way Test” used by the Rotarian Club that I share below as a reprint of a simple four-part ethical guideline to use when exploring and making decisions in an ethical manner.  Credit to Web link below.

 

http://thefourwaytest.com/history-of-the-four-way-test/

The Four Way Test

1. Is it the TRUTH?

2. Is it FAIR to all Concerned?

3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

 

Good therapeutic questions to use and explore through life when communicating with your spouse, couple, friends and or family.

Call NWA Marriage and Family Therapy at 479-225-0055 for an individual marital or couples appointment for affordable licensed therapy. Thanks!

 

School Shooting Profiler Expert

https://schoolshooters.info/

This website is an informative resource to understand the various profiles of school shooters.  The author of the website is Peter Langman, Ph.D.  who is also the author of School Shooters: Understanding High School, College, and Adult Perpetrators and Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds Of School Shooters.

For any one who wants to learn more about this phenomenon, of school violence and school shooter profiles, these books and website are a good resource at this difficult time.

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy, Your intuitive voice

The mind is an interesting place to be when one becomes observant, some people call this practice being mindful or paying attention to your own thoughts and sensations or simply existing in a state of awakening.

What is your intuitive protective voice saying to you at times?

Does that voice serves to protect you in a possibly dangerous situation? Does it serve to protect  you or torment you?

Is it  giving you comfort or is it making you anxious?  Is  what you feel true or  false?

Is the voice different than your negative thinking?  Are they the same?

Is this part of or different than your rational thoughts perhaps are they more  a part of your judgmental mind?

Sometimes in relationships we have an internal voice that sees the situation more clearly.

Often times we might over ride this intuitive voice by attempting to be logical or telling ourselves we just want to think positive of a situation or a person and use visualization techniques to create the future we want.

So what is true and what to believe?

Is our ability to feels and experience clearly muddled by past trauma or negative experiences? Is our ability to fell and think clearly overridden by assertions and promise of  ones who claim to love us?

How do we know what part of our perceptions to trust?

This is especially important in relationships.

Sometimes situations are more complicated than at first glance. Sometimes our inner voices speak loudly to give us advanced notice of what’s to come?  Why is it that some people  have the ability to sense this early on even thought they might choose to ignore their intuition?

How do you know if you should follow your inner voice or not? There is so much confusing information on line.

Infidelity, Stay or go? How to Know?

Infidelity, Stay Go How to Know?

Infidelity can come in many forms and happens more often than couples are willing to admit.  Studies on infidelity are therefore hard to conduct due to lack of honest data.  Any one who has ever experienced infidelity can  share how difficult it was  go through the experience.

Stay, Go?

The question immediately asked that ruminates painfully in one’s head after an infidelity is, should I stay or go after the infidelity is discovered?  The answer often is, it depends on many factors.

The question on staying or going can be more complicated than a one size fits all answer. Your friends & family might tell you to leave  as soon as possible, when you would do better to stay.  Others may tell you to stay at any and all costs, when it might be safer and better for you to leave.  How to know?  My goal is to  educate people to make long term educated healing choices.

No matter what any book with sure fire “marriage savior” promises you, not all relationships after infidelity can be saved, nor should they be.

Not all relationships after an infidelity however should be terminated or abandoned. Instead, some are very worth fighting for and will grow into a better more mature relationship that is still to come..

The critical question is therefore: How do you know when to stay and when to go after infidelity? What do you need to know to make the best informed choice as to your particular infidelity situation?

Your Informed Choice.

The choice to stay or go is always yours to make. Having an experienced therapists, who is not scared do explore and educate you about your own particular infidelity situation and all the emotions, may help you make a better informed choice.

Call 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for therapy in NWA.

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy to explore and understand your unique infidelity situation.

Thanks Carmen

Valentine’s Day

 

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Here is wishing every one a Happy Valentine’s Day.   A wonderful day to remember to celebrate love in all its many forms, be it passionate, romantic, friendship, or all of the above. Sometimes it can be the mix that we create. After all they say, love is blind.

Want to explore your new romance?   Confused as to a dating or an engagement situation?  Maybe a bad past relationship experience is keeping you more closed off than you wish to be, or keeping you from beginning in a new relationship?

Sometimes getting prepared for a new relationship takes some work before it even begins.  A counseling session is a great Valentine’s Day gift for your self or your sweetie.

Give me a call at your convenience 479-225-0055 and please leave a voice message.

 

 

 

 

A Great Holiday Gift Idea

A Great Holiday Gift IdeaA great Holiday gift idea.   So many times around the Holidays I hear clients say their work on their relationship or themselves needs to wait,  till after they pay off  their holiday bills.  That is understandable, I say.

However, I began to think of what material possession might be more important than your relationship with your loved one?  Clothes? Jewelry?  Cell phone? Well maybe a cell phone.  All joking aside, really what material thing can you buy that can supersede having an authentic relationship. A relationship that you can feel really good about?  I was hard pressed to come up with any answer, and you?

Unique Holiday Gift Idea

What about this year giving a few sessions of couples therapy as a unique or unusual gift?  Couples therapy as a holiday gift for both of you, is a novel, unique and  probably a truly unexpected holiday gift.

It might be a great way to initiate that first visit, that for some couples may be difficult.  Do not wait for a catastrophe to get you through the door.

Your partner might be more likely to want to go for a session or two when it was given as a gift.  It might just be an interesting experience for both of you that breaks the ice of any stigma or preconceived ideas about what couples therapy is, in fun way.

A couples session  a great Holiday gift idea. Happy Holidays to all my past, present and future clients.

For more information see Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s) 

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy, Google and the Self Diagnosis

Welcome to the age of Google and information.  I see more clients  more confused now about their situations with all the information they research or read in an  attempt to apply everything to themselves, in hopes of a quick resolve.  Information sometimes applied correctly and successfully and sometimes applied very inaccurately and excessively with unexpected consequences, or not with the desired results

Younger folks are much more willing to rely and use the internet to self diagnose or treat others.   If its accurate and effective, you might save some money but since the biggest predictor of any one getting better is the relationship a client forms with their therapists,  all the information in the world can not substitute face to face  sessions with a professional.   As well as  not all therapists follow the medical model, even thought all insurance companies do, and that is the bulk of what most people find.

Even experts in the mental health field can disagree as to the how’s and why’s of diagnostics and therapy or of the various mental health issues,  which are in a constant state of change and advancement as they are approached from many view points and with new advancements in the filed.

Often times clients self diagnose or diagnose others in their family with various personality disorders without ever having gone to see any one in the mental health field.  Google has made their decision for them.   Everything can sound so similar too, clients tell me.  Sometimes finding issues they did not know were even issuesSo you may consider trusting the face to face process of using a therapists in real time, hanging in there and seeing what happens, rather than amass  information that leads to many clients to feel less than or  more anxious.

Counseling and mental health therapy in one form  or another, through various healers  has been around since ancient times, even before the mental health field developed to what it is today.

Even thought face to face therapy is still considered the gold standard, its good to know that other options now exists.

Call 479-225-0055 to set an appointment for therapy in NWA.
NWA Marriage & Family Therapy to explore and understand your unique infidelity situation.

Thanks Carmen

 

Counseling and Therapy Contact Websites For NWA Marriage & Family Therapy

NWA Marriage & Family Therapy

Below are links to find my services and other free and useful counseling information.  Marriage therapy, couples counseling and individual clinical counseling  provided in the NWA area and Ft. Smith in a private practice setting.  I have an affordable sliding scale fee for a 60 minute session, depending on your income.

I am a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. see    https://aamft.org

I can be found  on their www.therapylocator.com listing.

My private practice is going on its seventh year in business serving a variety of clients from all walks of life.   I  have offices in various locations and it is sometimes hard to get google maps to cooperate with a business that has more than one location.  In addition to Fayetteville Arkansas, I also serve Bella Vista as well as the Ft. Smith area

You can also find my verified services listed as well as other valuable counseling information on Psychology Today.  See…

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_detail.php?profid=157622&rec_next=61&ref=6&sid=1507733323.2675_7511&city=Fayetteville&county=Washington&state=AR&tr=ResultsProfileBtn

My services are also listed at Goodtherapy.org

https://www.goodtherapy.org/therapists/profile/carmen-cubillo-20131231

Any of the above web site links might help you in finding a face to face therapist and are good sources for free information as to counseling or therapy in general.

Calling the office at 479-225-0055 NWA Marriage & Family Therapy and leaving a voice message is the best way to reach me to make an appointment or simply  answer any questions you may have.

Thank you.

Carmen

Every Day is Valentine’s Day

Isn’t it interesting how so many new relationships are made around Valentines Day?  When  this day of love and romance  comes up, that pending questions will we be celebrating it together with this new person in our life comes up? Does this relationship mean the same to each of us?  That thrill or surprise to know that some one is interested in you and you in them can feel great?  Valentines Day can often be a day of thrill and surprises, and for  other’s it can also be a day of closings and endings.

It is interesting to see how love can be in the air when we as a society and as an individual make  set our focus on paying attention and doting on another person by sharing our feelings of love in so many special ways.   Alternately if you have been in a long term relationship or marriage, could your relationship benefit with a little more intimacy or fun?

This month of Valentine’s  I am offering enrichment sessions for couples that feel they are doing well and are stable who might want to share and explore greater intimacy together as a part of their ongoing commitment.   Give the gift of an enrichment session a great unique Valentine’s  Day Gift. Please call and ask for an appointment at your convenience, Saturdays are available for sessions as well.

Make every day Valentine’s Day by focusing on the love that you have in your life, that many come in many forms and that we so often take for granted. Remind yourself every day to be thankful.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

If you wish to contact me, please call my office telephone 479-225-0055, & leave a message. Thanks

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